I Will Not Say Goodbye.

"If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's Church?"
1 Timothy 3:5


I struggle with this verse a lot. I've always had issues with my family and it used to translate into the rest of my life. I've gotten better at this, however. But as of now,  my mother is aggressively trying to take me away from Christ.

It sucks.
I love God. I love His son.
And the fact that someone is trying to take me away from them hurts.
But i won't let it happen. i refuse.

But as of now, i think i have to stop going to a lot of my favorite things.
aka: Young Life, Campaigners, Leadership.....camp?

I hate this a lot. It's stressing me out. Causing me to never want to be home. Causing me to continuously  fight with my mother. And there's days when i think i never want to see her again.

I don't want these thoughts. Satan is driving me crazy. I need help.
I think i just need to spend more time at home (to my greatest disappointment), and hang out with some people from my school-->not young life related (another downfall).

Track starts next week.
Whatever.
Coach is already disappointed in me.
Don't care anymore to be honest.