I Will Not Say Goodbye.

"If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's Church?"
1 Timothy 3:5


I struggle with this verse a lot. I've always had issues with my family and it used to translate into the rest of my life. I've gotten better at this, however. But as of now,  my mother is aggressively trying to take me away from Christ.

It sucks.
I love God. I love His son.
And the fact that someone is trying to take me away from them hurts.
But i won't let it happen. i refuse.

But as of now, i think i have to stop going to a lot of my favorite things.
aka: Young Life, Campaigners, Leadership.....camp?

I hate this a lot. It's stressing me out. Causing me to never want to be home. Causing me to continuously  fight with my mother. And there's days when i think i never want to see her again.

I don't want these thoughts. Satan is driving me crazy. I need help.
I think i just need to spend more time at home (to my greatest disappointment), and hang out with some people from my school-->not young life related (another downfall).

Track starts next week.
Whatever.
Coach is already disappointed in me.
Don't care anymore to be honest.

I Just Want To Live, I Don't Want To Fit. If That Makes Me Crazy, Then I Am.

I think i AM though. Going crazy that is.
God puts everyone one this Earth for a purpose.
Those who seeks Him see that we all have a call to pursue Christ, and to pursue others in Christ.

I have troubles with this. I'm thankful i was pursued, but i have issues doing it myself. I finally have a friend who is interested in becoming a Christian, but i don't think she realizes how life altering it is.
I stayed with her after school a few days ago, and we talked about it a bit and she said she views the bible more as guidelines, that she doesn't have to follow it in order to be a Christian.

Chels, the bible is God's word. Jesus is the son of God. Jesus Christ. Following Christ is the definition of being a Christian.

GAH. she doesn't care.
She even stated that she's not going to give up drinking or having sex or cussing or any of the other profanities this world provides for us.

SATAN. GO AWAY. NO ONE LIKES YOU.

Headache. boo.

The fallen angel chose to fall on my head just now.
ick.

Anywho. Another girl who i'd love to pursue says Young Life "isn't her scene."

uhhh? what do i say to that? CAN I MAKE IT YOUR SCENE?! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE? WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?

Grrrr.

And of course i'm still surrounded by Christian opposites all day long. i don't appreciate it.
I said something along those lines at Leadership this past friday, and a kid named Mo(e?) said that it might be a good place for me to be in because it challenges my faith.

It makes sense. And i know i can't stay stagnant, cause there's no such thing. But i just wish everyone felt the need to love, know, and follow Christ.


Then again, i think every single Christian out there feels that way too.